10 PEOPLE YOU'LL SEE AT THE COMPANY HOLIDAY PARTY
The corporate holiday party is a cacophony of awkwardness, open bars and the surreal feeling that comes with seeing your coworkers in a social setting. To those who haven’t experienced this before, it can feel like an episode of The Twilight Zone.
You may have thoughts such as, "Wait, that shy, quiet person can actually speak — and dance?" and, "I've never talked to this person before, but now we suddenly seem to be best friends" running through your mind. This is normal.
You can breathe easy, because we've compiled a list of people you're bound to see at this year's office holiday party so you can be prepared.
1. THE BOSS
The boss can part the crowd like the Red Sea. When he or she walks into the room, you may hear a small pause in conversation as those in attendance mark the entrance of the head honcho. In some weird combo of instinct, reverence and fear, several employees will subconsciously hide their cocktails behind their backs. This power can be intimidating, but try to remember — the boss is just a human being.
2. THE SCHMOOZER
You can also call this person the brown-noser. You'll be able to spot him or her mingling as much as humanly possible, almost unnaturally so. They will be treating the festive celebration as a networking event, trying to take advantage of any opportunity to climb that corporate ladder. This person is almost guaranteed to talk about work, which is probably the last thing you want to do, so proceed with caution.
3. THE AWKWARD +1
Unlike the rest of this cast of characters, you've probably never seen this person before in your life. Possibly a buddy of a coworker who didn't bring a romantic date, he or she is just along for the ride. This person will more than likely resemble an awkward, frightened puppy. He or she will handle all the stress by nervously sipping a beer (or six).
4. THE INTERN WHO GOES OVERBOARD WITH THE OPEN BAR
Many people are fans of the open bar, but some have the tendency to take it a bit too far. This over-excited intern definitely fits into that category. You'll probably experience some second-hand embarrassment due to this intern's inability to hold his or her liquor. Whether it’s speaking a little (or a lot) too loudly, telling rather personal stories, dancing like a maniac or getting into some other shenanigans, this intern’s behavior will turn heads –- and not in a good way.
5. THE UNDERCOVER OFFICE ROMANCE
This couple is trying to be super sly, but they're not succeeding. They come into the office exactly 2.5 minutes apart every single day, because they're totally arriving "separately." And to be even sneakier, they'll avoid each other all night in this social setting, with the exception of a few telling glances across the room. Guys, we see you. We know.
6. THE UN-IRONIC UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER-WEARER
There's a reason that ugly Christmas sweaters should be reserved for parties that make fun of the old-school fashion trend. We all love ugly Christmas sweaters, but very few wear them seriously — or well. This person will embrace the brightly colored reindeer sweater with pride and will not be fazed by stares. This attendee is only slightly better than the guy who shows up in a rented tuxedo.
7. THE OVER-SHARER
You've probably encountered the co-worker who talks incessantly about matters that are, frankly, TMI. He or she is way too open about their personal life, so you know absolutely everything about his or her romantic escapades, family, pets, landlord and hair stylist. Avoid getting cornered by this particular attendee or risk being forced into a conversation about what his or her cats will be wearing this Christmas, complete with a full-scale slideshow via smartphone.
8. THE SLEEPER
You know that one coworker who is really quiet and professional, perhaps even a bit nerdy? After they've had a couple cocktails, they're going to burst out of their shell with gusto. You'll see some intense dance moves, hear them spout hilarious jokes and meet a totally new person who’s been hiding behind a desk. They'll be the life of the party, and it'll be awesome.
9. THE SOCIAL MEDIA-OBSESSED
This party-goer is absolutely addicted to all things shareable. He or she documents every second, so when you get to the party, you will most likely end up on their Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat feeds almost instantaneously. Adopt ninja skills to avoid post-party digital embarrassment.
10. THE "CHECKED OUT ALREADY" COWORKER
This colleague is currently in the middle of planning a long vacation or is heading to another company ASAP. This person can be highly entertaining, though. His or her "DGAF" approach to the party — and to daily office life, for that matter — can be ridiculously amusing to watch. Add alcohol to the situation and it can become even more of a spectacle.
Forget boring corporate holiday parties. Make this year’s an unforgettable one.